Geertruida >> Releases >> Various Artists

HO HO HO!

This is the year Geertruida brings you a very special Christmas gift, the gift of music..
This is the Geertruida 2013 Christmas EP, jam-packed with extra special holiday flavoured music.

This is the only way we know for sure you will enjoy Christmas even more, with a Geertruida musical fix.

Yes, we think this is what you need..

It all starts with Mr. Joshua Baumgartens extra very special story about Jesus and Mary Magdalene, and details of their indie rock life.. and Pitchfork, amongst others. As this story develops we learn a lot about His life, and about His affairs.. and guitar pedals. As to the morality of the saga.. we are still trying to figure that out but it has something to do with that you should not joke about the holy spirit..

After that we hit the jizz jazz jackpot with a Floris Bates whammalicious sing-a-long song about masturbating on Christmas, alone and with the curtains closed. And we all know that was not snow Georgieboy Michael and his 'special' friend were playing in.. It was a pow-pow-pow-pow-powdered something something-metamdexamfetaminish substance. Maybe that is what it takes to write hit music? Wham bam thank you man!

Ferocious sonic übersubsounding underground noise -and part time lizard collectors- duo Those Foreign Kids sent over a box of chocolates, a used condom filled with eggnog and a burned down Christmas tree. When we figured there was a hidden message in our Geertruida spam box, we found a nice and dandy song there, right next to the Viagra discount shop offerings of Mr. Juju Mambambo. It was a great song, so we incorporated it here. Why not?

Treasurehunters and synthcavedwellers we thought they were, and they are. But it turns out that they actually come out of their holes sometimes, to celebrate the joys of baby Jesus. We are talking about Treasure of Grundo. Last Christmas they got a new device from Santa, a vibrating machinery that is now safely stored away in their cave somewhere. It produces sounds never heard off. It's the Grundo machine in full swing. First part of this song is a seventies softcore porn soundtrack. Think of hairy chests when you listen to it, and dripping stalactites of the synthcave where these boys dwell. These boys put butter on their instruments and rub them all the wrong ways. You'll wish that by the end of their melancholic finale you could go home and cry in your mothers lap and overthink all the wrong things you did for money.

Sexton Creeps.. Mmm, creepy yes. But actually these are the guys (and a girl) you DO want to hook up with in a dark alley. To snap your fingers in conjoined rhythm and perfectly moan and bark like crazy cats and drunk dogs do at the moon sometimes when they are scared or hungry, or horny. Hopefully you appreciate this song about GOD. The righteous Dude. And X-mas bells.

Then a most disturbing message from mister Disturbo himself. Synthdrones and banging drums set the record straight, Christmas ain't no fun at all when you are not at least a little bit out of your mind. Disturbation seems to sneak up on people around these days. Suicide rates go up like magic flying kittens in a Chinese soup kitchen. Why? Don’t ask us! We are just a record label. But we provide solid entertainment, for all ages. Here you have a song that would do well with your grandma and the karaoke machine. Maybe it even counts as a political song. Just don't stick your head in the turkeys ass and pretend like we did not warn you about the consequences.

Barnyard Tea party boys know how to handle their swampy ancestral bluegrass tunes. They also know their classics. When these guys pick up their banjos and guitars, and when they sing their golden voiced juicy angelic harmonies, heaven opens up for everyone. To take a free ride and mess the place up a little bit. Ain't that exactly how we like it.

It's corny business this EP, but Jesus approved our message!

AUDIO

DOWNLOAD

GEERTRUIDA RELEASES

RELEASE INFO